On Bishops (and everyone else) behaving badly
There has been a small earthquake this week in the Episcopal Church world, as one of our Bishops admitted to a significant error in judgment during an Easter Vigil service at the Cathedral in his Diocese. Today I would like to reflect a bit on this incident, but encourage all of us take a deep breath first and offer some space to listen humbly first.
This is a somewhat unique scandal in that most of us did not hear of it until after the Diocese had gone through their own process of reconciliation, atonement and begun the process of healing. The incident, removing a priest’s collar as a joke after they made a mistake on the altar, is a poor choice at best, and overlaid with tensions around gender, age, identity and power becomes pretty egregious. The Bishop messed up, the Bishop apologized, there is certainly still more work to be done however, at Trinity Cathedral Boston, in the Diocese of Massachusetts, and everywhere.
I am more interested in how the rest of the Church has responded to this instance, and in so many other instances of clear (and sometimes less clear) malfeasance and sinfulness. Why, when we see someone make a mistake, do we rush to point it out, call it out, make sure others know, call for their removal, boldly proclaim exactly what should happen, before we even know the full context?
Let me say that I do believe our desire to ‘make an example’ of bad actors usually comes from a place of good intentions. We see something bad, and we want it to stop as soon as possible, so we propose getting rid of the problem.
But what if the problem is not the Bishop of Massachusetts? What is the problem is not the music executive or the TV producer? What if the problem is not the radical islamist or the traumatized soldier?
What if the problem is deeper than that?
I would like to suggest that ‘the problem’ is rarely one individual, but rather a systemic reality that privileges one group, view, perspective over another. AND more crucially, that when we focus on ‘the one bad actor’ we allow the system to exist, persist and even get worse.
Whatever your thoughts on Bishop Gates’ action and his response, blaming everything on one individual, calling for his removal, and getting angry at one person does not change an ecclesiastical system that privileges straight white men over everyone else. In fact, by targeting one person, particularly a repentant one, you make it easier for the system to persist.
If anything, the last year in the Episcopal Church has shown us that even with an ever growing number of female bishops and clergy, if we do not seek out the systemic problems in our tradition, they will continue to exist and persist. People will continue to pine for a ‘real’ (meaning male) Bishop or priest. They will criticize the actions of Female, Minority, and Queer leaders, both lay and ordained, because they don’t ‘do it the same way’ as the majority. Those who have found a safe haven in this ecclesiastical system, no matter their own background, will criticize new voices, movements and actors who are asking for a different kind of Church. They will fall into old stereotypes to protect themselves and in order to weaponize them against others.
I fully recognize that as a straight white male priest in the Episcopal tradition my voice on this may be viewed with suspicion. Good. It should be. I only experience these stories from second and third hand experiences. Sometimes I get it wrong. When I do I have amazing friends and colleagues who will call it out, let me know, and help me get better.
I would not be the priest or human I am without these kind of people in my life. One of them was just nominated for Presiding Bishop. And for that I am very, very grateful.
I have many strengths and weaknesses in my own ministry, but one two qualities I am always seeking to improve on are listening and humility.
When I first sought out ordination and complained how long it was taking, The (now) Rt Rev Dede Duncan-Probe reminded me I was on God’s time.
When I demurred getting involved in Trans rights in Miami because it was not ‘my issue’, some members of the Cathedral reminded me that is why they needed my voice.
When we started our reparations program and did not include criminal justice as a core tenet, Donna Brown from the Citizen’s Policing Project called me out, and we corrected it.
When I wanted to run and tell everyone Deacon Natalie’s story, she pulled me back and reminded me it was her story to tell and we would be on God (and the Deacon’s) time.
Over and over again I have learned from my own mistakes because I was willing to hear the criticism and seek out a better solution. I fear that our current mob mentality towards those who disagree with us not only prevents us from enacting systemic change, but also makes us fearful to ever admit we could be wrong, ensuring that systemic evils stay in place even longer.
Friends, increasingly we inhabit a world of black and white, right and wrong. With us or against us. It is easier to see everyone we disagree with us as ‘wrong’ or ‘other.’ However, it becomes more and more difficult to hold that position when we begin to acknowledge we don’t have all the answers. And the argument falls apart entirely when we dig at the roots of the problem and realize it isn’t about any one individual or group. I hope you will consider this week how to be less judgmental and more curious, less sure and more humble, less certain and more faithful.
Faithful in God’s love. God’s hope. And God’s forgiveness.