Monday Meditation - May 10, 2010

When Jesus saw the man (who had been paralyzed for thirty-eighth years) lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, Jesus said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” John 5:4

 

 Do you want to be made well? Well, there is a question to ponder. At first hearing, I might respond to Jesus: “Well, of course I do.” After a few more moments, I might say to myself, “Wait just a minute. I’m not sick. I’m perfectly fine. Why would I want to be made well?” I might add, “And you know, even if I were sick, I can get well all on my own. Thank you very much. I can take care of myself.” And as all these responses circle about my mind, I see Jesus standing there—and with compassion in his eyes, he calls me by name and says one more time, “Do you want to be made well?” And maybe this time, I stop. My mind stops the incessant chatter. I stop and hear Jesus’ question. Really and truly hear his question. And I know. Maybe I haven’t really wanted to be made well. Maybe it’s time.

 

It’s a strange thing how we humans refuse to move forward towards healing. As Bill Rich+ preached in his sermon yesterday, we like to hang onto our past. We especially like to hang onto the difficult, unfair, or painful parts of our past. We hang on to that childhood incident that humiliated us. We hang on to the boy or girl that broke our heart in high school or college. We hang on to that situation that was perfect and try to recreate it again and again in our lives to no avail. We hang on to a person that we see no longer and would complete our world. We hang on to the anger, the pain, the revenge. All of it. Do we really want to be made well?

 

Moving into a place of reconciliation and healing means acknowledging the pain and heartache for certain. But reconciliation and healing also require forgiving ourselves and others and then moving forward. When we do this, we are all a bit wiser about humanity. In every life and throughout every life, there will be loss. But there is the resurrection experience of overcoming loss that is humanity’s greatest gift. Overcoming loss and being willing to love once again. 

 

The disciples knew that great sense of loss on Good Friday. On Ascension Day, they experienced that loss again as the resurrected Christ ascended into heaven. I imagine the early church would have died a quiet death if the disciples and their descendants had only remembered the great loss. If they had only focused on the great loss, then would they have been able to embrace the Holy Spirit’s presence and move into the future, coming to Pentecost with a fervor beyond all telling?

 

Do you want to be made well? Eastertide is a good time to ponder this essential quesion—where am I avoiding, even resisting, healing in my life? Do I want to be made well? If so, Jesus says to us to stand up and walk—walk into a future of unknowing, a future surrounded by the power of the Holy Spirit. We may be fearful to let go of the feelings that separated us from others yet made us feel just a bit safer. Let those feeling go and move forward into new life. Remember--All will be well. AMEN.