Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:9

When I pronounce this line in a wedding service, I do so with fear and trembling. It is a solemn pronouncement about God's wish for us in relationship. These lines from the Gospel of Mark also underscore the difficulty of living in relationship as human beings. While the context of these lines in Mark are Jesus' discussion of marriage and divorce with the testing Pharisees, I have begun to think of this pronouncement as a moral teaching that reaches beyond the institution of marriage. I've been thinking in this way for some time, but Stewart's+ sermon this past Sunday nudged me to think anew on this topic.

As Stewart took Sylvia Camille in his arms and we as a community prepared to receive her into the Body of Christ in baptism, Stewart spoke about how babies don't know how to be hard-hearted. Unfortunately, as adults, we learn this part of human nature quite well. All it takes are some hard knocks from life, our loving heart being broken one or two times, and we vow that we will NEVER, EVER, let that happen again. It hurts too much. So we begin to build the armor of hard-heartedness around our heart to protect it from pain and loss. Sometimes our hard-heartedness is directed to those we don't know--our politicians, our leaders, media stars, famous athletes. Sometimes our hard-heartedness is directed to those with which we have only limited contact-- our children's teachers, the shop clerk, medical receptionists, traffic cops. But, in reality, many of us reserve our heard-heartedness for a special catgory of relationship. We reserve hard-heartedness for those who love us best--our family and very close friends.

Our family--some of the most blessed and precious relationships in our lives--why do we often show our hard-heartedness only to them? Sometimes all it takes is a long day at work. Sometimes it is the wet towel left on the carpet for the 100th time. Or it may be opening the dryer to find it filled with wet clothes. It may be that the dog hasn't been fed or the litter box hasn't been cleaned. Generally, it may be nothing at all except your own hard-heartedness rattling the metal cage around your heart. Perhaps you hadn't noticed but yesterday was the anniversary of a death or birthday of someone you loved and have lost. Perhaps you were reminded at work of a time you were denied a promotion elsewhere. Perhaps you walked by a favorite spot of long ago. But whatever triggers it, out it comes. And when hard-heartedness comes forth from our souls, even an innocent word can be tinged with hostility or aggression or disappointment. And just like that---the ties that bind together a blessed relationship in our life are stretched. Years of hard-heartedness often stretch those ties beyond repair.

I suppose that we allow this pain to come forth with those we love best because we hope that those who love us best will keep loving us no matter what. No matter how ugly we are or how mean. However, that kind of love can only be sustained in the end by God. I don't believe that human beings are capable of sustaining that kind of love without the grace of God. Nor are we meant to when the ugliness and mean-spirited becomes abusive emotionally or physically. God still calls us to love our enemies, but generally not to continue in the direct line of hardhearted fire. My call is to love God and love my neighbor--including and especially those nearest and dearest to me. That call includes keeping my hard-heartedness at bay.

And the only way to keep my hard-heartedness at bay is to continue to believe that, despite the hardship and pain in life, God loves me beyond all reason. That love keeps the metal doors around my heart from being permanently sealed forever. That love keeps forcing its way into my hard-heart. That love allows me to love like a child once again. I have found that anytime I close myself off completely from another human being, the hard-hearted armor around my heart becomes that much thicker. Even a prayer for another can keep the metal door open a crack for God to get through. And sometimes that is all I can do. And that is enough for God.

Text: Mark 10:9

Pondering: Where does your hard-heartedness make an occasional apprearance? A daily appearance? Where can you find God's love to keep your heart open and loving?

In Christ's Love,