Out of the depths have I called you, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice;* let your ears consider will the voice of my supplication Psalm 130:1

In the sermon on Sunday, I spoke about the demon of unworthiness who sits on our shoulder and pesters us--pesters us to give up our the call that God has for us. Pesters us to let go of those deep dreams of our heart, because we just are not good enough. This persistent demon will go to great lengths to keep us from calling out to God when we feel low--when we are in the depths, as the Psalmist says. Again, this is the invaluable and amazing power of a spiritual practice. When we make room for time to conect with God in our life, our persistent demon of self- doubt and unworthiness can not have us all to him or herself. In my mind and heart, the cornerstone of spiritual health is Sunday worship. Sometimes we are kept from Sunday worship for one reason or another-- but if it is our cornerstone of our spiritual practice, we will get to church more often than not. There are several reasons that I say this. First, while a personal practice of prayer is of great worth (see earlier meditations in January), the practice of Sunday worship in the Eucharist keeps our faith from being only individual piety. The Body of Christ that is the Christian community not only keeps us honest about ourselves, the Body of Christ also carries us along on the wave of God's Spirit when we just can't do it alone--when we are in the depths! That's why even in our practice of prayer, a soul friend is essential. The demon of unworthiness and self-doubt flourishes when we try to do it alone--that's why those famous desert fathers and mothers of early Christianity struggled so very hard alone in the desert. When we are in the wilderness, being alone is the greatest danger. The other reasons that Sunday worship should be the cornerstone of our faith is because of the Eucharistic feast. In my sermon, I spoke about the Commission on Ministry retreat this past weekend and of Debra Donnelly Barton's take on the four movements in the Eucharist (Take, Bless, Break, and Give). Here are her four movements with my commentary of why it matters:

(1) Offering: Just as Jesus offered his life to God, we offer our lives (in all our joy and frustration) to God on Sunday morning just by coming to church--just by showing up at the Eucharistic Feast! That's all we have to do--even if we are in the depths--we just have to drag ourselves to worship--then the Body of Christ in community and God take over! Remember that some Sunday when it is dark and rainy and you feel like you-know-what....I know this from personal experience! Just come and offer yourself with all those parts of us that seek forgiveness. Offer it all to God. (Liturgical note: That's why the Confession comes before Holy Communion in the service)
(2) Blessing: Once we find ourselves surrounded by a community of praise in song and story, we begin to give thanks for our life--such as it is that morning! And the amazing thing happens--even if we don't feel it in that moment and maybe that morning, day, week, or month--God blesses us. Just as we are. We are loved unconditionally. And so now we can see the loveliness of ourselves--that we are wonderfully and marvelously made, even with all those little smudges on our souls.
(3) Breaking: And because we know we are loved, we can allow God to teach us gently about what God wants us to know about our own brokenness and our own loveliness. We can enter into our broken hearts and begin to acknowledge the deep wounds of life. In seeing those wounds for the first time--really seeing them--we are able to begin to heal; and finally,
(4) Giving: Now we are able as Debra says, "between breath and footfall," to give God's love outward to the world. Our hearts--broken and bruised--are open to gift and giving in the world.

Hmmmmm......that's quite amazing. The continual healing of our hearts and souls in a little over an hour each Sunday morning. And all it takes is hearing the words:
"On the night he was handed over to suffering and death, our Lord Jesus Christ took bread; and when he had given thanks to you, he broke it, and gave it to his disciples, and said, "Take, eat: This is my Body, which is given for you. Do this for the remembrance of me." Amazing. Wondrous. And it begins by showing up.

Text: Psalm 130

Pondering: How does this love of God wedge its way into your heart? How are you pulled from the depths? How is your little demon working on you?

In Christ's Love,